WanderWanderWander

For the record, I am pregnant...very pregnant. My "official" due date is February 5th, though just as officially, the pregnancy is at term anytime between 37 and 42 weeks. I often tell expecting friends that the last two weeks make the rest seem like you weren't even pregnant. Let's just say it's not a barrel (though I feel like one) of laughs right now. :-)

My husband, Tom, and I were sitting on the couch last night talking about the weird, time-warpish nature of our feelings during this time. We have two children, ages 6 and 3, but it's amazing how it's still a mystery, still feels risky, still scares the hell out of us, even as it's one of the best feelings of our lives.

So this time 'round, I haven't felt "ready" to give birth until this week. Finally bought diapers and all the stuff on Dotti's (our midwife) list for the auspicious day. Fi-na-lly finished organizing our room for baby. And Tom has been working on a couple of jobs (he's a residential contractor) in which the materials have been mis-ordered and come in damaged three times in a row. He really wanted to finish these before baby came and has felt unready too.

Thus, we've been avoiding sex the last few days because it can induce labor. Tom was contemplating the rest of the week's work with materials and without interruption. I've been finishing judging the contest entries mentioned in a previous blog.

When Dotti came yesterday for the home visit, she clarified exactly how sex can induce labor. I told Tom about it, and it brought out our often-relied-upon hilarity.

You have sex and boom! out pops a baby!

What if it was like that? Would babies be considered less valuable? Would there be a population boom? Or not? Would people have sex? Or not? What would it be like? How would it change society and interpersonal relationships?

Because that's a bit how it feels right now. Though we know baby's coming soon, we don't want to cause the process to start and then stall; and Tom politely begged for those two more good days of work (sans sex). (Yes, he had to beg. See forthcoming blog on the injustice of pregnant hormonal lust.)

For now, it really feels like: sex>labor>baby! is a possibility. Voila! Instant parenthood.


Birth Matters Midwifery - tons of great info on birth and pregnancy. I highly recommend this option for childbirth; and Dotti is a terrific midwife and just a stellar person.
http://birthmattersmidwifery.com/

The most info on nonpharmaceutical induction I have found...maybe TMI
http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/natinduc.html

Shorter article, explaining the roles of prostaglandins (in semen) and oxytocin (a hormone released by orgasm in the mother's body)
http://webcenter.health.webmd.netscape.com/content/article/62/71738.htm

Seven years ago, I worked at a shoe store (great for all sorts of writing fodder). I called a customer to let him know his order was in and got his answering machine. It was full of static and his voice had a southern, older twang. He said, "Welcome to the -- residence, where the information highway turns into a dirt road." I didn't stop laughing for a while.

And back then, it was still something you could laugh about. But today? No. Today, knowing how to navigate that highway--feels more like an orbit these days--is a necessity for almost any endeavor. And if it's not a necessity, it's a way to have a richer life, more informed, judicious, frugal, a way to find what must sometimes be, in this complicated world, a circuitous route to one's dreams.

For example, I'm judging entries for a local writer's conference contest. As I sat eating at Mediterranean Cafe (a great little place downtown, owned by dear friends; her blog: http://countessarugula.blogspot.com/), reading the first couple of entries, I was struck by how uninformed some of the writing seemed. In one case, it was the writing itself. In another, it was the presentation.

And what I mean by uninformed is that, especially with the internet, but even without, a literal plethora of help and guidance about good writing and proper presentation exists at our fingertips. But I've noticed that some people don't even think of tapping into these reservoirs to aid their writing journeys. Yes, Google is ubiquitous, but for a very good reason: it works.

I have met new writer after new writer who didn't even think of searching for basic writing information. I write down web site after site on napkins at restaurants. I mean, if one is writing a picture book for the first time, would it not make sense to google "picture book writing" right at the start?

But it's clear that many of those I talk to--even some of whom think they're ready to send manuscripts to publishers or to self-publish!--are not aware of the information highway and many don't seem to care. They don't seem to realize how crucial it could be to getting published and just being a better writer. At a conference last fall, during a question and answer session with editors from major publishers, at least half of the questions asked could have been answered by going to Google first. And this was the top organization for this genre! They wasted having those ears at their disposal because they were too lazy to use their computer, learn to use one, or go to the library to use one.

Now, I like the "dirt road" and try to live most parts of my life grounded in what I consider to be "reality": unprocessed food, library books, family, friends, a world perspective (especially when organizing our very small house), trying to base my knowledge and judgments on straight, undiluted information (like Vital Speeches of the Day: http://www.votd.com/, a record of what people are actually saying instead of the spin of what they said).

But I also recognize that the information orbit can infinitely impact my life. Yes, for the better and the worse. But mainly--wow! I sound like an optimist--for the better. So I use it. And when someone complains about not knowing something, I immediately think--and then say--have you googled it? What I want to say is, "Give me a break. Crack open your mind, break out your fingers, and just type a little and you'll be on your way." What I say is, "Have you googled that? Check out this site and this site and this blog...." And I say it with a smile, but inside I just want to throttle them a tiny bit.

Well, it's been a banner year. After "walking" 13 years ago, last spring I finally finished my bachelor's degree, taking the final three courses I needed. I received my diploma in August. And yesterday, this "horrible finisher" actually completed the goals I made for my critique group. I don't really feel like waxing eloquent about it right now. Feels good, though. And barring any unforeseen interruptions like school, this year should be a good, productive one for writing. Can't wait for my rejections to start flowing in again...the life of a writer! :-)

As I said, I'm a writer. I belong to a wonderful, brutally honest critique group. We meet a couple of times a month and are all on our way to being published--really, as in prominent agents interested in manuscripts, publishers asking for work, editors with open doors. They are wonderful wonderful people, my comrades.

One of our methods is to make yearly goals, re-evaluating them mid-year. We pay dues into a piggy bank for the year, too. Those who reach their goals get to split the pot at the end of the year party. It's one of the best methods I've seen, because you pay yourself to accomplish what you want. And, for example, if only four of our eight make our goals, then they double their money. I really really want to be one of those who make it this year!

So one part of my goal was a certain page count. I didn't specify on what project because I just wanted to write, to open up some closed parts of my mind and life onto the page without the burden of "discipline." Though our goals must be met by this coming Wednesday, until last night, I had not yet calculated how many pages I'd written this year.

I am a true procrastinator, but one who has learned how to use it, for the most part, constructively. For example, I try to do things that need immediate attention right at that moment, not worrying any more about how I have time for it, just doing it. I don't always succeed, but I try.

Other endeavors, though, benefit from procrastination, from prolonged mulling. The best explanation I've ever read on this is from a book by Anastasia Suen called Picture Writing: A New Approach to Writing for Kids and Teens. Though the book is geared for children's writers, this method, her way of looking at the creative process, applies across the gamut of creative pursuit. I've placed the pith of what she says below.

This time, though, good grief!, I sooooo should have seen how much I'd written weeks ago! I'm over my page count! When I thought I had at least half left to do in three days! Ugh! What wasted mental energy. So now getting all of my goals done is--though still at the last minute--definitely doable and not going to result in my possible death. (I'm pregnant, nine months even, so writing the fifty pages I thought I had left in three days while preparing for the birth and taking care of my five and two year-olds just might have resulted in a temporary death, definitely a psychological one....)

So, good grief and Hooray! Money from the pot, here I come.


"The Five Steps in the Creative Process

Step 1 Preparation—You get a new idea and gather information about it.
Step 2 Frustration—Your project gets stuck.
Step 3 Incubation—Your subconscious works on the project.
Step 4 Illumination—The A-Ha! moment of insight.
Step 5 Translation Into Action—You take your insight and put it to work."

From Picture Writing: A New Approach to Writing for Kids and Teens, by Anastasia Suen, page 7

So the majority of my friends are not going to hear about this blog until I actually keep it going for longer than a month. Not sure how many blogs I've started.... But growing up, I'd get journals as gifts or on a whim or on a discipline binge and I'd write in them for a max of a few weeks or days. Then you'd see a page break and the date would start two years later with something like "Well, it's two years later and we've moved across the country again and now I like this guy and..." to be followed by several pages of what had happened in those two years.

So, I figure it's time in my life that there is no possible reason for me not to be able to keep a journal, an almost daily report of life. I'm not looking at it as a discipline, because that's killed it soooo many times--residue of being a preacher's daughter. I'm looking at this as simply recording my meandering life and thoughts and trying to make sense of it all. That's it.

A bit about me: I'm a girl, wife, mother, writer, photographer, singer, actor, brainstormer, Earth mama, Christian (but not one of those), Dune Tolkien Firefly Jane Austen Dr. Strangelove Greg Boyd fan, great starter working-on-it finisher, multitasker, recovering perfectionist, lover of books and people. And that's only a start. So hang on for a ride. (not promising any particular sort of ride; just a ride)