WanderWanderWander

Everyone I see now says how great I look. But I hear no trace of envy in their voices, the envy I reflexively have for those moms who look the same after pregnancy as they did before. I do hear the residue of "for just having a baby." Because I don't look great for me. I say this without whine or low self-esteem. I just know when I look good, and now is not one of those times.

Returning to my old self seems hopeless at times. I don't lose weight simply from nursing. My body interprets it as sitting, sitting, sitting.

But no more do I want to return to my "old self."

I see my current self as being a chrysalis. Today I begin to slough off the layers of this self and emerge a new creature. Strong, energetic, focused. Still nursing, still a mom, looking something like I looked before, only better.